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	Opinion: Some assignments were not made to be completed Article by Ollie Garky Image by Jordyn Cabellon
	Local perv excited to meet, leer at Class of 2030 Article by Felix Baum Image by
	Gamer Symphony Orchestra declared winner of the Mario Kart tournament after all competitors knocked out by a rogue green turtle shell Article by Nishna Makala Image by
	Ten Ways to Get to Washington, D.C. Article by Nishna Makala Image by Anna Graham
	Multi-factor authentication changes will require a 500-word essay, three sacrifices to Testudo, and a blood oath under a full moon Article by Nishna Makala Image by
	President Kruskal re-elected, institutes mandatory exercise requirement Article by Aldrick Joves Amparo Image by Gale de Silva
	Virtuous Terps protesters throw Purple Line test train into Lake Artemisia Article by Adrian Benitez Image by Ollie Garky
	Purple Line to cease construction – new Magenta Line construction to begin immediately Article by Matt Kouveliotes Image by Hayley Boore
	College Park McDonald’s to ban Looney’s patrons, citing consistent McNugget shortages Article by Hun Gover Image by Gale de Silva
	Ellicott Hall Stolen, Replaced With Cardboard Cutout Article by Clover Litten Image by Reagan Eisenstatt